So. . . my computer died. And now I have to download all of the crap that was essential to me all over again. Seriously, just shoot me know. Argh.

So. I've never before had New Year resolutions, but I kinda feel like I oughta. So here we go.

( I doubt I'll get to half of these )
I'm sure there's more, I just can't remember what else is there.

I hope y'all have a good holiday season and a very happy new year. I also hope that you get through family bonding time with only a minimal amount of new emotional scars, and I mean it.

I had a final at 9 AM this morning, then I crammed for Philosophy during my lunch, and then I took my Philosophy final and now my brain is FRIED!!

Man I want Chirstmas to come.

I'm so excited to be writing a queer essay. A little werid? Perhaps. But it's making me so happy.

I might become something utterly useless to life as a Gender studies major yet. Here's to learning interesting yet impractical things!

Born into Brothels is a really good documentary. Unfortuantely now I'm on the verge of being upset. I guess I am maternal, though I'll probably deny it later, because the kids in that movie were devestating. The worst parts of the movie wasn't even when they were talking, or even when the person making the movie was explaining how very unlikely it was that they could get out of that district. It was just seeing the faces of them with all of hope and optimism drained out. Ten and eleven year old kids should not look that old.

So lemme see. My life in a nutshell.

First of all, I really think I need to get away from college, because it's just always. . . here. I know, smart one Trish, but I'm happy that I'm going home to do my laundry and pick up laundry this weekend. Been in a funk lately, thankfully I'm coming out of it, but it blew like a cheap hooker.

I've been slacking off, eating like shit or very little, and I think that probably is why my moods have been all over the place lately. Last Friday was so good for me cause I saw Jazmin in Boston, and I needed to get into a city, visit Condom World, and just run around like an idiot. Condom World is a great place, lemme tell you. Y'all are getting presents from there, like penis pasta. Or obscene tee shirts. Or a pot cupcake pan. You know, mature items like that.

This week has gone by so incredably fast. It's werid, and not in a good way.

Went to see a survivor of the Holocaust speak last night, and she was really good. It was totally worth staying up later than I should have and then crashing after that.

My ass just got kicked by a cycling machine. Honestly, how sad is that?

So I went to Rocky yesterday night. We missed the almost the entire preshow, because someone bailed on us in the last minute so we missed the bus we were gonna take, had to take the T, and then had to eat something cause we all were starving. And the our waitress took forever. Like, she had 2 freaking tables and it took her forever to take our check after we told her we were in a hurry. And she also forget to get things when we asked for them. I know it's hard to be a waitress, but she had literally 2 tables. Well Rocky was an experience and it was alot more sketchy than I expected. I was fine, but I don't think I can anyone else from here with me ever again. I think I wanna go back though with a shitload of people who would actually get very into it, and go ON TIME.

I realized that I do this thing that if someone is a good person, they MUST be okay with gay people. Apparently, that's not always the case. Shocking, I know. It just werid to think of that any kind of sexuality that deviates from "normality" sketches some people out, or they just don't want it in their faces. I'm not dumb, I get that there are people out there like that, but it's werid to find that out by people you think you could be friends with, and then you have to decide how important your views are to you. I don't know, I think I lived a sheltered life in liberal Lexington.

I try very hard not to fuck around with people, and I absolutey hate it when I think someone's screwing with my head. And now I think someone's fucking with my head but I really don't wanna call them on it, cause that conversation would only be awkward as fuck. Or I might be imagining the whole thing, which is a possibility. Knowing me, I'm gonna call them on it, cause I hate ambiguity land. Not tonight though, cause I have shitloads of work to do.

As a side note, I met someone else who says awkward as fuck, and that makes me really happy. People here, and by that I mean Kara and assorted others, make fun of the things I say. Like femme, wicked, sugah, dude, awkward as fuck, and when I tack on "and shit" to everything. I get lots of looks when I mix my sayiings too. Like, "awkward as fuck and shit." Or "wicked femme." At least I know how to say Billerica, and that's more than a lot of folks here.

Right at this moment, I don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks of me, and that is a marvelously freeing feeling. What I'm feeling is a nicer version of flipping off the world.

I'm running off of three hours of sleep, so that could be why, or it simply could be the fact that I have found new inner peace and strength the moment I turned 19. Quite frankly, I'm just gonna run with this.

I don't want to know how much money I spend on public transportation. The amount is probably ridiculously high, and then I'll end up feeling bad about myself. I'm actually happy just to be crashed in my room right now, since I spent Friday in Harvard Square, Saturday in Boston, Sunday in Harvard Square AGAIN, and while I can handle public transportation as well as the next person, I don't love doing it or anything. It's not like, "Sweet! I'm riding on a uncomfortable sticky plastic seat in a funky smelling bus! ROCK ON!"

I did hookah for the very first time last Saturday in Boston. It was kinda exciting, and I'm a fan. Unfortunately, it cost a decent amount of money. Totally worth it though.

Yesterday Kara and Robin gave me an early birthday present consisting of a book of queer quotes, a Irish Super Shooter, and a tote bag with pics of half-naked chicks on it. Apparently, the theme was me. And they bought me the bag because they hated my jean one with a passion. I thought that was kinda cute, but I guess not.

I should mention here that I am wearing a mini- plaid Catholic school skirt. It's surprisingly comfortable, and I kinda like it. Go ahead folks, mock away.

I have a confession to make, I suck at calling people. Either I forget to return calls and then look like an asshole, or my phone's not with me so people who love me are forced to leave an awkward message, or I call at a bad time. And then once I actually get a live person to talk to, my phone dies. You've all experienced the lovely phone where you end up going, "Uh, Trish?" And there is no one, NO ONE, I suck at calling more than Aure. Yes, that's right, if I was her, I would kill me. So this is an apology to her, and everyone else who has suffered at the hands of one of my shitty phone calls. It's not me, it's the crap service in Chestnut Hill.

Saw a kinda depressing Theology movie today for my class. It's a Japanese movie in which everyone who dies goes into this school type buliding, and then they have three days to figure out one memory that they want to exist in for all eternity. Of course I started thinking about what memory I wanted to have forever, and then I was like, "I can't think of a time I was delirously happy!" To be fair, I was watching the movie at the same time, and only kinda thought about it, but still. A lot of people in that movie chose from their childhoods, and I didn't really like that. Personally, I'm a very different person from when I was five, and I don't know, I don't think I want to be stuck there forever. Early life is really over romanticized too. Yeah, I was happy to have an ice cream cone, but I got upset over the dumbest things. Like people taking over the sandbox. Plus, I was kinda a brat, don't comment on that. I don't know about the afterlife, but I am kinda happy I'm not dead! Kay, that last thing was dumb I'm sorry.

I think it's funny/sad that I interact with the world using facebook. No joke, it's how I still know that there are people out there. My roomate was making fun of me, so I was like, "I can totally go for a week without facebooking! Totally!" This was at 1:15 AM. It has been a little over 12 hours, and I'm like, "Fuck. I need to go on facebook. I'm loved! Someone wrote on my wall!" Actually it's more like, "I'm loved, maybe I can see people!" But no. Because I can't facebook.

I don't care who you are, but it is never NEVER okay to breast feed your kid on the subway. That lovely image was brought to you by the Red Line.

So I'm in my room, not doing Alcohol edu, but watching TV and updating my live journal inside. I love the books I have to read for my college classes. One of them is about gay guys and has a picture of a guy in a thong on it and is called, "Why I hate Abercrombie and Fitch." Seriously, I dare you to give me a book better than that.

I'm not dead. Just so you know.

This is the first time in a very long time I was able to get on the internet. Which would explain why I just about dropped off the face of the earth, though I'm a mere three hours away from home.

I'm now addicted to Veronica Mars. I love that show, and spent a good 6 hours yesterday getting caught up on the second season. Yes, I'm aware it's sad but the first step is to admit that I have an unhealthy obession with a TV show. Funny thing though. Two of the guys on it yesterday were trying to figure out how two rivial gangs could pass drugs between them without anyone seeing them. And then one of them was like, "Ah, of course! The local Catholic church!" I have come to the conclusion based on many many crime movies that the Catholic church drives people to crime. It's true! How many drug deals in TV have happened in a Baptist church? Or how many rabbis have brothers who are crime lords? Yeah, that's right. NONE. I'm sure that any day now I'm going to go to one too many masses, and then get the urge to hold up a convenice store. Frankly, it's only a matter of time.

Last night was LONG, let me tell you. I wish I could sleep right now, but I have to watch my dog. Damn. So, after a ridiculously long wait, I finally got my rooming assignment at BC. Thankfully, it's on Upper, which means I don't have to run around and catch buses to get to my classes. AND it's with the roommate I picked out. AND it's not a forced triple. Thus, life is good.

Well, rather, it will be good as soon as I get some fucking sleep, and my headache goes away. No it's just allright.

Allright.

So currently, I'm going up to Maine on Saturday morning. Again. I'll be back on Monday in the morning and afternoon, and then I'll be driving back up to Maine that night. After that I'm stuck in Maine till the last week of August when I come back on that Monday. And, I may or may not go to Auri's party depending on whether I hold my temper and how fast I can pack up my life.

Oh yeah, I don't think I have internet access in Maine, so you guys all know. It's part of the shack's charm. Like mutant spiders.

I'm leaving for Maine in two days, and won't get back till the last week of August. So, if you want to see me, it pretty much has to be now.

edit: jk. I think I might actually be around this weekend and leave on Monday. But, to be fair, I didn't know this until late last night.

So last night my parents brought home a puppy. It's cute, but he's completely scared of us all. Smart dog. If I was him, I would be terrified too.

My mom is probably going to quit her job, and spend all her time next year alone with the dog. She had been talking about quitting alot, but I didn't really take it seriously because my dad never wanted her too, and he thought we needed the money. Now, apparently he's given his blessing. It'll make her happy, so that's good. Werid to think of her not working though, since she has for years and when she wasn't I was like in elementry school. But then, that doesn't really impact me because I won't be living here. My mom is one of those people who can't stop working, so she's going to end up planning some big project and spending all of her time on that. That's one of the main differences between us. She can't stand doing nothing, and I love that.